The most natural “unnatural” birthing experience
Possibly the most precious gift and indescribable experience a women can go through is bringing a life into this world. After 9 months of growing and anticipating the arrival of your tiny human, the birth is truly the highlight of this incredible journey that ends your status of being “pregnant” and begins your new and greatest role as “mother”. Every ache and pregnancy symptom is worth it for this life-changing event when you finally get to meet your precious baby.
There is a lot of pressure these days to take the “natural” birthing approach. Elective Caesars are made to look like something negative, not the best for your baby and even “the easy way out” to avoid going through labour. This year in August, I gave birth for the second time. My firstborn was in breech position from 25 weeks so my gynae recommended a caesarean delivery. I felt a complete failure. I researched breech deliveries, how to get baby to turn… And right up until the week before she was due I still hoped to deliver “naturally”. It was not to be though, my baby was in a particular breech position where it was unlikely she would turn at the last minute as some babies apparently do. Weighing up the pros and cons, my individual risks (I was over 35) and advice from my gynae, I went ahead with the caesar. While recovery did take a couple of weeks, all was fine and my daughter took to breastfeeding well, no further complications.
Fast forward to my second pregnancy and all my hopes for a V-BAC (Vaginal birth after caesarean) were dashed when my gynae (a different one this time around) highly recommended another caesarean. My son was not in breech position, no other complications initially and seemed perfectly healthy. Her reasoning was that if you have a baby 2 years or less after the last c section you are at risk of uterine abruption. The internal scar tissue may not have had enough time to heal and may tear during labour. If this happens… There is a high risk of excessive blood loss for the mother, the baby seldom survives and the mother often has to have a hysterectomy. It is a small chance and the gynae did say it was up to us if we wanted to take the risk but just that tiny chance of losing our baby and the other trauma was enough to make us take the recommendation to go for the caesarean again. I also had some pre term labour threats at 32 weeks for which I was hospitalized and put on medication, so we firmed up the decision not to attempt the V-BAC.
COVID-19 didn’t make things easy. We were informed there would be a strong chance my husband would not be allowed in the delivery this time, but thankfully after negative PCR tests 48 hours prior to deliver he was allowed to come in with me. Having gone through one c-section I knew what to expect, so was calm, the spinal block went well, administered by an amazingly gentle anaesthetist. The team was calm, encouraging, talked me through the whole procedure at each stage. It was quite different to my first c-section. My best way to describe it is as close to a natural delivery as I could expect or hope. Of course I didn’t have the labour contractions or push my baby out, but this time around, there was no screen between me and the surgeon, I could not see the incision site (thankfully) as there was a surgical cloth over me but I got to see my son immediately on being pulled out, heard him cry, he was placed on my chest and left there while being monitored, he was allowed to find his first feed and suckle and the only time he was not with me was for the standard checks, weigh in and measurements just after the birth. For my first delivery there was the screen, my daughter was shown to me briefly, wrapped up for a first photo with my hubby then whisked away for her checks. She was absolutely fine, however I was wheeled to recovery without her. My husband got to hold her while I was waiting what felt like forever in recovery. I only got to see her again about 3 hours after her birth. Thankfully she latched well, fed well and there were no complications for either of us.
My message is one to encourage mums who have elective c-sections for whatever reason whether by choice or necessity. Just because your delivery is not ‘natural’ by the text book definition, it doesn’t have to feel unnatural. My second delivery was a very calm and special experience. My son was delivered safely and I got to have him on me while I waited in recovery. For the people who say c-section is the easy way out… It is by no means a walk in the park in recovery. The first few days are painful and it takes a good couple of weeks to start to feel better again and longer for the caesar wound to heal, I did have some complications with that this time around, however my birth delivery experience was as perfect as I could expect and one that will be etched and treasured in my memories forever.
I also don’t wish to down play the experience of emergency c-sections (which can be quite traumatic in recovery), as are some ‘natural’ deliveries very traumatic), but however your child is delivered, the outcome is the same and you are no less a Mama for delivering the ‘unnatural’ way ❤️.