My postpartum depression journey – by Tadaka Myamambi

I write this so that if I reach at least one person out there then at least it’s one less person out there who thinks that they should be ashamed to openly talk about their mental health and seek help for it.

Shoko is almost 10 months and I love my baby boy to infinity and beyond but I won’t lie when he came I was overwhelmed with being a new mom, I didn’t know how to breastfeed him something I didn’t even put thought into because I thought it’s natural right ? WRONG! I was too scared to bath him for fear of dropping him , I cried every time I had to put methylated spirits on his umbilical cord then he got Jaundice which I knew nothing about and I wanted to cry ALL the time in fact I did the day we left the hospital because the thought that I had to take care of him on my own was bloody scary , it was all too much and people are very quick to brush it under the rug. If left untreated mental health can spiral out of control after child birth which leads to postpartum depression where in some cases moms will have thoughts of either harming themselves or even their little not because they don’t love them but because it all comes tumbling down on them and fast.
What I had is what I now know is the baby blues. After having a baby a woman can either baby blues or postpartum depression or both. Both are a result of hormonal changes within your body that you cannot control. However, it is essential to recognize that the baby blues is normal( that’s not say it’s something to be ignored) somewhat expected, and will pass. Postpartum depression on the other hand is more serious and usually requires professional help.  It is difficult to differentiate between the two because on paper, both conditions appear to be so similar. So many symptoms are shared between the two conditions such as irritability, inability to sleep, crying bouts and mood swings.

And there’s are the things people don’t tell you at your baby showers etc… It’s so real… I thought there was something wrong with me when I felt nothing for Ati when she was born, I felt overwhelmed, sad and crying for no reason. Poor AB got the brunt of it all. But it’s only when I spoke out about it, that other mommies were like giiiiiirl!! I felt the same!! So it just goes to show how important TALKING is. Don’t bottle stuff up… It’s not easy. The biggest advice I give to expectant first time mommies is you are not super mom! Nobody expects you to be. You have to take care of you too. I thought I could do it all, but by the end of the year, I was burned out. I had nothing to give anyone. And like you, I had that sense of resentment towards AB. His life was going on as normal, and I was “stuck”… But I have learned and I take the lessons forward.